Wednesday, April 29, 2009

PLAYING HOUSE


Jade and Leo are playing house. Technically, the couple doesn’t live together. He pays rent on one side of town and she pays it on the other. But they enjoy going through the pretense of doing what couples who do live together do. Jade spends five out of seven nights at Leo’s house. She cooks, cleans, and coddles his ego just like a wife would do for a husband. Leo is attentive to his girl and her needs and the couple’s relationship seems to be working for them.

Other folks have begun to question just what it is this couple is doing or not and Jade realizes she truly doesn’t have any answers for them that might actually make some sense. She and Leo have never really discussed making their arrangement permanent. The discussion of marriage was a conversation held in passing with both acknowledging that marriage is an institution they might consider tripping through at some point in time. Just not now. When the conversation ended, they started playing house.

As Jade told me her story I couldn’t help but think about that old adage, “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” Leo’s got dairy coming out of his ears. It washes his dirty drawers, keeps the dust balls from accumulating in his corners, and warms his bed more nights than not. Why should he worry about acquiring himself some cattle when he can have all the steak he wants and eat it too?

I asked Jade what the payoff was for her? What was she getting out of their arrangement? Jade paused before she finally responded that she wasn’t quite sure. She said she loves doing for Leo the way she does. She enjoys the days and nights that she and Leo share time and space. Being with Leo beats being alone any day of the week. I then asked her why she was feeling conflicted?

It seems that everything is good and fine until someone else questions their unusual arrangement. Then Jade starts to feel some stress. Ultimately, if it works for her and him then it really doesn’t matter if it’s working for everyone else. Jade and Leo have to do what makes them happy. If Jade being Leo’s ice cream and him being her beef works, I say dine, and dine well ‘cause neither one of them is hurting another soul. When one or the other starts to have some issues with their arrangement then thats when they might need to reevaluate their game plan. Until then they both say they’re happy so what more could anyone else ask for?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

THAT OLD BLACK MAN


I love men. Some of you know that I particularly love OLD men. There is something about their geriatric spirits that gives me sheer joy. Most are acutely sensitive, exceptionally charming, easily moved to laughter and truly wise. They like to tease and a few can be quite fresh. It’s easy to decipher though which are quite harmless and who needs to be put in his place. They will talk for hours if you afford them the opportunity and most have the most amazing stories to tell.

I’ve written about my dear old friend Mr. Ben before. In fact, Mr. Ben got his own label to make it easier for his fans to find him here. Mr. Ben acquired quite a following who still email me periodically to ask how the old guy is doing.

Family and friends had written Mr. Ben off months ago. His failing health had him with one foot in the grave ready to kick off at any moment. Mr. Ben, however, had other plans. He’s still hanging in here, still doing what he does best.

He has a home health nurse who comes in daily to help take care of him. Number One Son finally relented and hired a woman to help him handle his father. It only took a good month or so before Mr. Ben got the hint that he couldn’t play tackle and tickle with her whenever he felt like it. Once the two settled into a routine they became quite comfortable with each other. The fact that he frequently mistakes Nurse Patty for his late wife may also have something to do with his newly acquired timidity.

The last time I visited Mr. Ben didn’t remember who I was. But he was still has enchanting as ever, introducing himself two or three times as he told me what a beauty queen I was. His complements were knee deep, his stories just as engaging, and the man made me laugh like we were sharing old times. It was only as I was readying myself to leave that he remembered my name and questioned why I hadn’t been there to visit with him sooner.

I absolutely adore Mr. Ben. I also miss him very much. I’m hoping he’ll remember me the next time I go to visit with him. I’d gladly let him cop a feel just so I can reprimand him like old times. Time is slipping away too quickly and I know Mr. Ben is slipping away with it. I’m not at all ready to let my sweet friend go. I dearly love that old black man.

MY CREATIVE SPIRIT


So, I had a great weekend. The weather was picture-perfect, the company was incredible, and I didn’t lift a finger to do a darn thing for three whole days. I had a wonderful time at Spring Fling. I met some incredible women who are writing some seriously wonderful stories. I have to shout out a hello to Diane, Claudia, Cheris, Sabrina, Virginia, Deborah, and Leceila! And I absolutely love book events where there is an enthusiastic audience of book lovers. I have to extend my thanks to Janet Morley at East Regional Library in Knightdale, North Carolina for a wonderful event.

Getting back to my usual Monday grind didn’t do much for my spirit however. It took some serious maneuvering to get my mindset back on what I needed to do and then do it. When my work day was done I was out the door faster than fast. It was hot, sunny, and all I wanted was to be outside.

I spent most of the afternoon and evening hiking a local mountain, reflecting on my past and my future. The days ahead are much brighter than many that I left behind. I also took time to reflect on my personal relationships, on family and friends and what is good as gold in my life and what leaves much to be desired. As a result the evening has been fraught with some intense conversations.

I don’t hold much back any more. Since the end of my marriage and the start of my new relationship I am much more inclined to speak my mind instead of biting back my tongue. It makes for some interesting moments. And I like interesting. It fuels my creative spirit.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

COME SEE ME!!!!


In case you're looking for something to do on Sunday, come on out and say hello. There will be a room full of exceptionally talented romance authors and I'm certain it will be a great time!


Spring Fling Festival

Sunday, April 26, 2009
2:00 pm – 4:00 pm

East Regional Library
946 Steeple Square Ct.
Knightdale, NC 27545

Come meet your favorite Romance Authors for an idyllic afternoon of passionate enchantment on Sunday, April 26th at 2:00 pm. Authors will be reading from their latest titles/upcoming works in progress and are looking forward to greeting their fans in person and chatting! Special Guest Authors Include:

Diane Chamberlain
Claudia Dain
Cheris Hodges
Sabrina Jeffries
Virginia Kantra
Deb Marlowe
Deborah Fletcher Mello
Leceila Turnage

Author’s books will be available for sale and autographing! “Romantic Refreshments” will be served! There will be prize drawings for attendees including chocolate, books, homemade herbal massage oil, and romantic dinners for two at local restaurants.

Friday, April 17, 2009

WRITER-IN-WAITING...

Author Bernice McFadden took the words right out of my mouth. And don't you just love this picture!



Have a great weekend. The weather here is incredible. I'm feeling especially loved and though the clock continues to tick away with no responses of any kind in sight, my mood is exceptionally good. So, I'll continue to wait and try to have a darn good time while I do so.

I hope your weekend is as good as I plan to make sure my own is. Enjoy!

Monday, April 13, 2009

THANK YOU, BABY

For what you do to me....

KICKING UP MY HEELS


This weekend a man asked me how old I was. I couldn’t help but think back to a time when I would have told him I was “old enough to know better and young enough not to care”. These days my pat response is to smile politely, raise my eyebrows ever so slightly and just not answer at all. And my reality is I’m really not that old but for some strange reason I feel practically ancient.

There’s a part of me that seriously misses that youthful spontaneity when you just didn’t give a rat’s ass. You could kick up your heels, raise a lot of hell, and not feel guilty about doing so. Then life steps in, slaps the crap out of you, and has you asking yourself what in the world were you actually thinking. I’ve witnessed sister-friends, who have reached this place I find myself in, actually attempt to reach back into the annals of their heydays to jumpstart their midlife transitions. Inevitably the results are not pretty, most coming across as frustrated, desperate women trying to be twenty again.

I was reminded of an old English teacher I had in junior high school. Back then the old woman was clearing pushing retirement. Every day she came to school dressed in four-inch love-me pumps, miniskirts that barely skirted the crack of her behind and snow white, Farrah Fawcette hair teased into oblivion. She was quite the character the way she flirted with the male students, batting inch-long, false eyelashes in a scary, come-hither manner. Back then everything about her was just plain weird. Now that I recognize she was just a lonely old woman, the late afternoon of her life line finding her without a companion and fearful of her future, I wish I’d been able to know more about her.

Back then I didn’t see her rat’s ass attitude working for her. Now I’d like to think that maybe not only was it working but that perhaps it was giving her immense joy as well. Sure, she seemed frustrated and desperate trying to be twenty again, but if she didn’t care, then it really shouldn’t have bothered the rest of us.

I’m not desperate.

Yet.

Maybe frustrated.

Slightly.

And I’m surely not interested in love-me pumps or miniskirts. But I’d like to regain my youthful spontaneity and just not give a rat’s ass. I’d like to kick up my heels again, raise some hell, and just not feel guilty about doing so.

I would really like that a lot.

NOT HIS MOTHER


Janet married a man, who has a kid, who has a mother. Janet’s man and his baby mama are cordial at best, the two clearly not on the same page about how to best raise the child they are supposed to be parenting together.

Recently, Janet had to acknowledge that she and her man aren’t on the same page either. Janet made the mistake of interjecting her opinion into a conversation the man was having with his kid. Her man, disagreeing with her point of view, politely advised Janet and his son that she wasn’t the child’s mother. She wasn’t the one raising him. He was. He didn’t complete the statement but Janet finished it for him. Her opinion didn’t matter. Not with him.

Janet asked if she was wrong to be hurt. Realizing that at point in their union that she and her man could be at such odds over such an important aspect of their relationship, has been a touch shy of devastating.

SIGH.

I don’t know if Janet wanted to hear what I had to tell her, but speaking from experience, I told Janet to let it go. Her reality is, no matter how she feels, she isn’t the child’s mother. Good or bad, he has one. All she needed was for the child to respect her and the boundaries of their home. Let his father deal with the rest. I told her it would save her heart a greater hurt later on.

The ex-hubby and I had been married for almost six years. For that entire time I’d been raising his five children, including the child he’d fathered with someone else during the course of our marriage. In my eyes, they were mine. I loved them as if I’d given birth to each and every one of them. Most folks thought I had and I never said different. Six years of marriage and mothering when Mother’s Day rolled around, the children were making those requisite telephone calls to their biological parent. Quite by accident, I overheard the ex-hubby in conversation with his baby’s mama, telling the woman that he had no reason to wish me a happy anything. According to him it wasn’t like I was really any body’s mother.

Despite the disrespect, I continued to mother those kids like nothing was different. And now, their silence serves as a reminder that actually, things were. I was only their stepmother. Good or bad they each had a mother.

Sure, it hurts. But pain dulls and will hopefully disappear with time. Janet can save herself a lot of heartbreak if she stays out of the fray. She can be as supportive as she wants to be. Maternal instincts won’t leave her with much choice but be concerned. But staying in the background of that family mix will save her from much hurt should her man or his kid ever decide she didn’t get that parenting thing right. Bottom line, she's not his mother, nor should she try to be.

Friday, April 10, 2009

HAPPY EASTER!


With the Easter weekend upon us I can’t help but reminisce about past Easter holidays. As a little girl it was the one and only time my mother purposely dressed my younger sister and I in identical outfits. There was a four-year age difference between us. She and I had very different likes and dislikes, so suffice to say, that one Easter outfit would be the bane for one of us, sheer delight for the other. Being the oldest, I typically got my way more times than not. There were a few times though where I was forced to don more lace and crinoline than should have ever been allowed. My baby sister tended to lean toward very girlie, frilly outfits.

My mother always let us dye a dozen eggs. I can still smell the vinegar we used to mix the dye tablets with to get those brilliant pink, blue, and green colors. Then she’d let us go hide them in the yard. After we hid them she made us wait ten minutes to go back out and pick them all back up. I caught on quick that our Easter egg hunt wasn’t much of a hunt. My sister took a little longer but the day she caught a clue was the last Easter we dyed and hid some eggs in the back yard.

This year, my Easter dress is emerald green with a brilliant hat to match. I called my sister to see what she’d be sporting to church on Sunday. When she described her dress I could only shake my head and smile. Seems we both bought the same green dress.

May you each have a safe and blessed Easter holiday!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

GETTING THEIR GROOVE ON...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy




With increased rejections, decreased royalty payments, and there being an unsettling funk over the publishing industry as a whole, this was a pleasant surprise. Then again, not really, when I consider that recently an event coordinator advised that there would be no books for me at a book event I was committed to participate in. According to the distributor, TO TAME A WILD STALLION and TO LOVE A STALLION are now out of print and my other titles are out of stock indefinitely. Other romance author friends have noted the same thing. It would seem that none of our books are available so somebody must be reading something.

It's nice to know that despite the current economic conditions, folks is still getting their groove on!

Go Harlequin! Go Harlequin! Go Harlequin!
Go Kimani! Go Kimani! Go Kimani!

(Doing that happy dance! Clapping my hands! Shaking my hips! Stamping my feet! Happy, happy, happy!)

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

SPRING FLING

Although it is as cold as a witch's proverbial right now, it is spring and things are blooming. To kick off the season, I am participating in a wonderful event this month at the East Regional Library in Knightdale, North Carolina.

So, if you're in the area come on out and say hello. There will be a room full of exceptionally talented romance authors and I'm certain it will be a great time!


Spring Fling Festival

Sunday, April 26, 2009
2:00 pm – 4:00 pm

East Regional Library
946 Steeple Square Ct.
Knightdale, NC 27545

Come meet your favorite Romance Authors for an idyllic afternoon of passionate enchantment on Sunday, April 26th at 2:00 pm. Authors will be reading from their latest titles/upcoming works in progress and are looking forward to greeting their fans in person and chatting! Special Guest Authors Include:

Diane Chamberlain
Claudia Dain
Cheris Hodges
Sabrina Jeffries
Virginia Kantra
Deb Marlowe
Deborah Fletcher Mello
Leceila Turnage

Author’s books will be available for sale and autographing! “Romantic Refreshments” will be served! There will be prize drawings for attendees including chocolate, books, homemade herbal massage oil, and romantic dinners for two at local restaurants.

Friday, April 03, 2009

SKOOLIN'


My boy John felt it necessary to “skool” me in the fine art of MAN-ese. It would seem that I didn’t have a clue about all the nuances and subtleties that a brother can come at a woman with. According to my friend John, men have a language all their own and we women really don’t have a clue. Now mind you John is an old school playa’ with the heart of an ancient soul.

John was quite serious with his "skoolin'". He and I went at it for over an hour. He broke it down into 5¢ words to that I could better understand him. Every now and again I had to toss in a $2 word to balance John’s food stamp expletives. John was very theatrical in his demonstrations, utilizing props and aids to get his point across. Even when I got it, John wanted to make sure. My friend John and I roll like that.

Boyfriend and I have known each other for more years than I can count. He will sweat a sister hard when he’s interested. John swears that the Time Gods have something against us since he was single when I was married and now that I’m technically single, John has a wife. He also swears that if those pesky Gods hadn’t been playing with the clocks, he and I would be married right now. I have much love for my boy, but I had to respectfully disagree.

John knows how to stroke a woman’s ego and many have foolishly fallen for his charms. But the man can be a serious pick-me-up when a woman might find herself in doubt about her own charms. The brother makes me laugh but I know not to take much of what he says too seriously.

John made some interesting assessments about the male species, most of it making much sense. What resonated during this lesson he thought I needed was his take on how men and women do or don’t handle their past issues. John says that some times when a man is trying too hard to move forward, he doesn’t stop to think about what he left behind. And whatever he may have left behind will always hold his heart hostage until he can figure out how to let it go. John said a man can love a woman but she won’t have his whole heart if he hasn’t bothered to take all the stuff he left on the other side of town with him.

“Unresolved baggage, huh?” I said.

John shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, girl. Just a lotta shit still hangin’ on.”