Monday, January 29, 2018

BULLSHIT


I don’t have the energy to entertain bullshit. I might be a lot jaded after one too many affiliations gone awry. It’s why I’m persnickety about who I allow into my life and most particularly into my heart. My heart is fragile and because it has been broken, even shattered a time or two, I’ve built walls that stretch miles high to protect me from getting hurt.
I’m always amazed by those who are fueled by discord and conflict. Persons who thrive on drama and consume negativity for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Those aren’t people I welcome into my circle and at the first hint of conflict, I quickly become dismissive. I have no problems sweeping other people and their ugliness as far from me as I can.
Recently, I was annoyed when associates called to repeat something a former acquaintance had to say about me. It seems that the gossip train has been running on full steam! For a brief moment, it bothered me because her truth was anything but factual, which is why we fell out in the first place. She lied to me. Repeatedly. Even when given the opportunity to come clean, she continued to lie. Losing my trust is the kiss of death for any relationship. And not only are you dead to me, but never again will I have a need to invoke your name. Not even to spit on it.
Friends called to make me aware that I was being discussed, and to see what I had to say about the situation. But I wasn’t interested in spilling any tea. I don’t waste good drink on people who are dead to me. So, I didn’t entertain the bullshit. Life’s too short for the games we use to play in grade school. Had I felt a need to tell my side of the story, I would have done so when the incident first happened. Instead, I said what needed to be shared to the persons involved and that’s where I left it. I couldn't help but think that other people might want to do the same. Because bullshit stinks to high hell if it ever gets thrown back at you, so it’s best not to entertain it at all.

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

HAPPY NEW YEAR!




I greeted someone today with a cheery new year wish and was swiftly dismayed when they turned around and asked me what was there to be happy about. It was an eye blink moment as I realized my joys may not necessarily be their joys. The first call of the New Year came from a family member who wanted to complain about the same damn things she’s been complaining about for the last five years. It was the same story, different day, and she was the only common denominator. She was allowed her moment because that’s how it has always been. When she finally hung up, I blocked her number. Not this year, Satan. Not this year.
Last year was rough. It took its toll and when I found myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown I realized I had to change for things to be different in my life. So, I once again washed my hands and my heart of everything that was toxic. I severed friendships, distanced myself from family, and focused solely on all things that brought me joy. If it caused me any ounce of angst I let it go. I refused to be inundated with other people’s problems and issues when I had my own to deal with. I focused on me and I became unapologetic about what I needed and wanted. I chose the path I needed to follow to get myself wherever it was I needed to be.
For me, embracing the New Year is all about continuing this life journey and being the best me I can possibly be. It will be about writing what I want to write and telling the stories I need to tell. I no longer have a desperate need to be validated by others. I know my worth and I will not allow it to be diminished by someone else’s lies. I’m happy with me and I really don’t give a damn if anyone else is.

I didn’t pledge to do anything specific this year. There was no long list of resolutions. I refuse to put that kind of pressure on myself. I know stress can kill and I have way too much living to do. But I did discover this wonderful list of life lessons a few weeks back that was circling the internet. Of the many declarations, there were a few that stood out and caught my attention. I have found myself referring to it often as I contemplate the New Year and I thought I would share them here.
And to answer that man’s question, what is there to be happy about? I say, EVERYTHING!

LIFE LESSONS for 2018

·         When in doubt, just take the next small step.
·         Life is too short not to enjoy it.
·         Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
·         It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.           
·         Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present
·         Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
·         If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
·         Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
·         Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
·         Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
·         It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
·         When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
·         No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
·         Always choose Life.
·         Time heals almost everything. Give Time, time.
·         Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
·         Believe in miracles.
·         God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
·         Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
·         Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
·         All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
·         Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
·         Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need
·         No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
·         Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
·         The best is yet to come…